Monday, December 31, 2007
♥ celebration of new years means one more year of suffering. fucked up.
I believe my BP has been up for this past hour.
Super fucked up with this kinda cheepong family.
I was told to move out by tonight after work.
I don't wish to elaborate what exactly happen,
but i won't want a family that doesn't want my explanation.
I wasn't given a chance to clear this stupid misunderstanding.
Just because of a vague short sentence someone said,
u assume everything &didn't want to hear my explanation.
This kinda cheepong family, i rather don't want.
Yes, I don't know where to go tonight, with no money.
S&K pay will only come end of Jan. My account left 2 digits.
People think im well off, please la, look deeper.
My new year clothes all my mum buy, she nv gives me money to buy.
If I wanna buy town stuff, sorry, she'll say "Use ur own money loh!"
My brother during CNY, will have money to buy nice clothes la.
What about me? They want me do this do that, like maid,
then treat me worse than my other siblings. What shyt lai de.
Cancer are supposed to be family oriented but i hate families alot.
Okay, seriously, I can't tie a husband down la, he'll sure get affair.
I don't like to be fked so I'll just remain as a bisexual? Lols.
PLs are seriously not in anymore. Now so many butch and Passive.
We are th minorities ;'( I'm so gonna get married in S.F. Lols.
If L Marriage good, but I don't know who to raise a child also.
I'm mood swing alot, ltr my child can't tahan den slash wrist how?
My god, I can't be a good gf, wife, mother, daughter, staff, friend, sister.
I'm stil finding smth that can motivate me to move on. No avail.
Sad ah. My emo moments are back. Fucked up.
Cancer swings a lot. Now I go crazy, next moment i shut up.
So I hope tnight work, won't kena beasts if not I'll blow up
then breakdown and run away from it.. Fuck.
Spell Family,
H-A-T-R-E-D
Your paper Kisses: 11:49 AM
♥ dance and party all night (: loves.
guess im counting down with workfriends.
where? in IP Zone and S&K. LOLS. Hahaas ;D
It's okay la, will be a fun time i pray. Hoho ;)
My sexy voice havent recover eh.. how?
having emo moments walking hm frm MRT.
Thanks Roy for accompanying me ;)
Finally my first job ended but i'll continue part time first.
Cause I havent done anything to my portfolio yet.
Meeting up with th peeps soon to do research tgt (:
Probably Feb then I do full time. But will close down ;(
Hais.
Your paper Kisses: 9:02 AM
Saturday, December 29, 2007
♥ we'll share our secret world, shall we?
Fucked up life. It's getting so political &
I have no idea what to do about it.
Guide me, don't make me choose betw two.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Sadness Kor was so sweet that night.
We headed for supper aft work when he got pay.
& he treated me nasi lemak with a huge drumstick!
I mean it's th thought that counts la! So sweet ((:
Bcuz of th coughing, I'm with a sexy voice now o.O
I like this kinda voice la, but will go out-of-tune when singing.
I don't like my real voice. It's so fking not boyish, not girlish.
Stuck with a vocal of lower G major, so can't sing a lot of songs.
Had to lower key or train to sing th song. What th fuck.
Over 17yrs, i had never taken gd care of my throat.
My throat's weak bcuz of throat infection before.
Had an relapse during last yr for 6 months, fked up.
& I can lose my voice if I sing k with friends for 6 hours
I loved spicy stuff alot. And lozenges doesn't work for me.
I lose my voice every now and then.
Hope it doesn't affect my worklife too much.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHH~Your paper Kisses: 7:26 AM
Thursday, December 27, 2007
♥ yes you can hold my hand if u want to, cos i wanna hold urs too (:
Sing this song for me please,
Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry
La da da da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter for my own protection baby
To be with myself in center
Clarity, peace, serenity
[chorus:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl no
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown.
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I forsee the dark ahead if I stay
[chorus:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself in center
Clarity, peace, serenity
Yeah
[chorus:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
La da da da da da
----------------------------------------------------------------------
im seriously this BIG girl. LOLS. Better with remix (:
Spent 2008 xmas with new loves; my working friends.
Sadness Kor, Andy, Bung, Roy,Jia Ying, Meifong,
Wenyong, Terence, Lina and Jasmine aftwork @ MRT.
No lah ;p under th station. With Martel, drinks& tibits.
I didn't drink of course. I won't wanna see myself drunk.
Cabbed home arnd 3am with Andy, Lina and Roy (:
th usual icebreakers, truth or dare & secret number.
Was so fking sad. Cos Weirdo seriously forgotten abt it.
No mood. My mouth stinks of th medicines of no help to
gastric flu. its supposed t make me feel better but did it?
I cough like my lungs was bursting already! Stress!
After that stupid food poisoning 2or3 mths ago, I sick all th way.
My "uncomfortable" outline over this period:
food poisoning, vomit, fever, internal heatiness, rashes, allergy,
gastric flu, blocked nose, flu, cough, fever, headache, no appetite.
Cough Syrup makes me wanna sleep during work.
I almost fainted la! Until I start to drink lots of water.
Cos drinking water will weaken th drug effect.
Someone's putting me onto th L plate.
I feel like going onto it too. Oh, come on.
Just put me back.
Your paper Kisses: 1:48 AM
Monday, December 24, 2007
♥ ahhhh~~~~~
Merry Christmas!
not sure if weirdo rmbs..
Your paper Kisses: 9:40 AM
Saturday, December 22, 2007
♥ oh come on' and take me away
I'm down with Gastric Flu. Had to take leave.
Thank God Shallin morning extend to full shift. Thanks (:
And I cried when I was at home; in fact everytime I have fever.
I know it's childish, I hope no one see me cry when im sick ;p
I need Mandy Moore's
WANT YOU BACK,can anyone send me please?Your paper Kisses: 8:31 PM
♥ im learning to fall with no safety net to cushion th blow
I'm super freaking bored. Tell me what to do.
Tmr's full shift but i seriously can't sleep at all.
Others are partying &im here stoning away.
Had been a bad month I guess..
1.
I didn't receive my "My Sweetest Sin" tee from T&K.T&K told me they sent out last Saturday but I didn't receive at all.
& they told me they are not responsible for lost mail. $23 flew away :'(
2.
L_______ C______ had yet to give me my Nov'07 pay.I submitted my timesheet 1 week bfore submition date& smsed boss
that I need th pay to process fast because I need it to get some stuff.
Wed, she told me she's busy with Enrichment camp which ends on Fri.
But she will submit to accounts immediately after camp. I trusted her.
End up, Mon(3th Dec), 2nd-in charge called me to enquire some stuff.
After that I asked her if my cheque's being processed&whether it's sent out.
(normally it's th 6th but since I requested earlier, it should be sent out alr.)
She told me that I would get it only when my boss returns from Australia.
Damn it, my boss didn't tell me she's going Australia on Mon(3days aft camp).
So I asked her when Boss's coming back. She says it's 14 December. What the hell.
So I told her angrily that if there's any pay delay, do inform teachers earlier.
She apologised and say she will get back to me when Boss returns.
I waited patiently till 14 Dec, 15 Dec, 16 Dec, 17 Dec, still no cheque, no SMS.
So I smsed both of them, asking them when I'll get my cheque, they say processing.
Till today, 22 Dec, still haven't come! It's been a month I'd sent out th timesheet!
So they smsed me just now and said actually cheque already being processed.
But because I'm terminating contract, so for this last cheque sent to me,
they had to collect back all teaching materials in exchange. And continued,
She said it was written in our contract that we must exchange for this last cheque.
Boss's trying to say I didn't return th materials so I can't get my cheque.
But didn't you just pass it to 2nd in-charge only just now?
Even if I return the materials earlier, I still can't get th cheque!
Cheque already being processed?My 2nd in Charge says I can only get it when you return.
this last cheque sent to me?Exclude Nov07, you guys still owe me $75 for Dec07!
Tell me, which is supposed to be last payment now?
When I told u in 1st sms, I alr said I have one more day taught!
How ironic she can be. Make me sound like I'm in wrong for not
returning the materials that's why I can't get my cheque. Nabei.
3.
Pending Piano feesMy piano teacher claimed I owe her $500+ for all practice lessons.
Yup, those before piano exam. She was th one who told me this:
"Playing not good enough, I don't care. Everyday come my house practise"
1 day practise 2hrs at her house. 2 days, 4 hours = 1month piano fee(1$70).
I went to practise for around 2weeks? So, she claimed I owe her $500+.
Mum was so pissed off and refused to pay for me at all.
She thinks it's unfair for her to pay for this $500+ for me. Fine but
She told everyone how my teacher tried to cheat her money. LOL.
But now you want me to pay for it, why act pathetic as if u're paying?
So now, I'll have to transfer 50 every month to my piano teacher. Fk.
4.
People hate meMaybe it wasn't being said out. But I do believe they hate me to an extent.
Lol, I was th one who felt hurt because all of them changed & I hate th new them.
They looked like they cared but none really contact me& I felt forsaken actually.
Yes, I'm disappointed. They seemed to enjoy life better WITHOUT me.
I did tried to salvate also by smsing gd nite, sending comments. Yup, replied.
But other than that, everytime they contact is to ask why I write such things on my blog,
we need to meet up to thrash things out only. Why? Why do we have to thrash things?
The reason why I was emo wasn't stated out at all. So what can we actually thrash?
At first, it was because all of them changed. & I definitely can't be like them.
But now? They are using what they have changed onto me & I seriously hate it.
I wasn't trying to stir trouble. I just preferred our innocent past. Simple Life.
It's ok, I have 2pals who are on my side and understand what I'm feeling completely.
Maybe things should turn out like this before everyone goes back. Tongue-tied.
5.
No more before 18 teenage fun Mum feeling feeling said she allowed me to pierce my lip 2 weeks ago.
Then now when I remained her, she nag and nag and nag.
And said my dad will beat me till death if I do so. Whatever.
I must get it when 18 and get more mini piercings meanwhile ;P
6.
Workload, more and moreHolding onto 2 jobs now. In sales and retail line.
Sales job is ending soon, till 1st week of Jan08.
Converting to Full time for retail next month.
I wasn't given proper training for my retail job.
Most things had to be found out by myself.
Thank god, my retail working friends are pretty friendly.
We do help one another out (but I'm more of a hassle. LOL).
Money is seriously not easy to earn, must save more.
What's the point of spending it before saving it right?
All my LV, Gucci, Chanel obession dreams will be put aside first.
Even if I buy, I must make sure I buy with enough savings left.
Sadness Kor suggesting Bangkok trip next year& im excited!
More Alladin clothes to come with pretty pretty accessories! :D
7.
Blue Monochromatic Xmas 2007Just like every year's xmas. Everything wasn't planned nicely.
But somehow ended up throning &knowing new friends.
This year xmas, no one inform me of any gathering's plan at all,
So I'll just be celebrating with some loves& stil know new friends.
Probably town again. I wanna club but .. (stupid underage law)
& xmas gifts? A big headache. Get it from my boss. Cb.
8.
Weight IssuesI used to be a ballet and Chinese Dancer. Unbelieveable I know!
I stil have my Ballet pictures but in Chinese Dance, no one rmbs me ;'(
I gained weight after I quit dancing because my grades dropped in Pri3.
Just nice tgt with puberty. Someone in my workplace suggest me to slim down.
Suggested me to go O School learn dancing; will seriously help .____.
Yvonne & I did wanted to enrol in dancing classes but no confidence eh.
Sadness Kor says he will miss my crystal ball if I succeed.
Learning dancing, sians. Still need money............ Damn it.
9.
Emo momentsAfter Darren Darling left for NS, I can't seem to find anymore else to talk to!
Seriously, over this year, I had lost my ability to speak up, esp in a crowd.
I do admit I'm not as confident as before. There's nth for me to be proud of now.
Yvonne is my best listening ear. Glad she had been with me for so many years.
One of the longest friend I had ever knew& stil in contact with me now.
All my naggings and frustrations, I apologise. But thank you anyway ((:
10.
Health issuesCoughing everyday ;'(
11.
Lost loveWeirdo's busy playing online game recently.
He's sure gonna get more female friends.
Ahh~ Boohoo..
12.
ResolutionsOkay, this is a super duper big problem I'll have to think about..
Lols, visit www.tingturnsviolent.blogspot.com for updates again. ;D
Your paper Kisses: 8:46 AM
Friday, December 21, 2007
♥ i bruise easily so be gentle when you handle me
Changed blog song to Natasha Beddingfield's "I Bruise Easily".
Th lyrics is super duper touching (: I love Natasha Bedingfields ;D
My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I cant hide the marks
Its not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
Drop my defences down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
I bruise easily
So be gentle when you handle me
Theres a mark you leave
Like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily
Can't scratch the surface
Without moving me underneath
I bruise easily
I bruise easily
I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
[Chorus]
Anyone who can touch you
Can hurt you or heal you
Anyone who can reach you
Can love you or leave you
So be gentle...
[Chorus]
I bruise easily
I bruise easily
**********************************************
Yesterday was hell for all of us! Customers are wild beast man!
I remembered while folding printed tees, one foreign lady,
nope, one foreign bitch. LOLS. She's a real bitch man!
I was trying to salvage the tees by folding them fast.
It was so messy I had to just fold and ignore th designs first.
Then this bitch.. Every slack I finished folding, guess what?
She laid down th whole slack and took every piece out 1 by 1!
E-V-E-R-Y SLACK, I repeat! Fuck you bitch!
I asked her a lot of times, what she looking for.
Then she shake her head&say, I'll look by myself.
Nabei. All of us think this outlet full of beasts(customers).
Roy was so cute ytd. Hahaaas. I was in the storeroom,
looking for a printed tee with design "Heaven".
So I asked Roy, do you know where's heaven?
Roy replied: "Heaven? I dono where. I just know hell's in S&K".
LOLS, what a funny dude. Ytd cabbed home tgt.
Bobian, 1+am then we knock off. Cabbed tgt with
Sadness Kor, Andy and Roy. Damn tired. Heng,
all the road can be linked. Bangkit, Teckwhye,CCK,Jurong. LOLS.
Just realised I'm not th one who change. Others did.
I remain my stand; not trying to be stubborn here (:
Your paper Kisses: 9:03 AM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
♥ Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you
Yeah, rebonding's tomorrow! No more curls!
After rebonding, what's next? New hair colour.
I'm ignoring my hair condition and
I'm gonna go all out for a new colour!
Purple Black shall be my base colour,
and cherry pink shall be my second colour!
However, cherry pink will not be my highlight,
im just gonna dye one or two patch of it.
Not sure which part, leave it up to th feel.
Piercing shall be done hopefully before xmas.
Whole new look should be ready by CNY'08.
Hahaas, no more red for CNY, just
PINK!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
How would you wanna die?
Tag please!
Your paper Kisses: 12:40 PM
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
♥ money money ROLL in (:
Sorry for the lack of updates people ;'(
Working at S&K and IP Zone alm everyday.
To earn more money for laptop &stuff.
Next year's probably gonna be a hard one.
When I studying &have no extra money to spend.
Mum will give me daily allowance but it's little,
for anything else, I will have to pay by myself.
Holding two jobs is seriously tiring &it's killing me.
But for the sake of money ;'( everything's worth it.
Hope I will get full return. New song updated,
Mandy Moore & Jonathan Forem's
Someday We'll knowHeard this song playing all th time. Pretty nice (:
Andy told me if he were to die, he wanna die uniquely.
Die like no other and hope it will be unexpectedly.
If it's me?
.
.
.
I wanna disappear and die silently..
What about you?
Tag&let me know (:
Your paper Kisses: 12:27 PM
Saturday, December 15, 2007
♥ Uh ooh, head over heels for you ooh
Nobody gets it. No one understands ANYTHING.
I didn't tell what's wrong & now they misunderstood.
Misunderstood why I'm emo. Why? Stil don't get it?
It's ok, I hate to explain all these shit. Continue thinking
that I'm childish. I create trouble all th time.
Let it be a mistake forever.
Your paper Kisses: 9:46 AM
Thursday, December 13, 2007
♥ I stood in between th gaps for u & they hate me. Well, now u've gotten everything. im useless to you now.
I can't scream cuz no one hears me.
So, I guess I'll still shut up.
It's not about being emo anymore.
It's just that I can't fit into that world.
Pretending to so love someone,
pretending to care for one who is forgotten,
and even doing everything with a motive.
Okay, It's me, I can't accept this ruthless world.
I can't go against my conscience at all. It's just me.
If you really know me well, this is me.
And nothing's gonna change me.
People out there can call me stubborn,
what about calling yourself a beast?
A cold-blooded, hypocritical beast.
My blog, a place where I express myself.
My blog is just as imperfect as me,
don't expect nice stories all th time.
Cuz' those were th past & im supposed
to find a future for my present..
Your paper Kisses: 5:13 PM
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
♥ i felt those ear candies again. liar. fucked-up.
have u received it? LOLS.fuckedup
Your paper Kisses: 5:52 PM
Sunday, December 9, 2007
♥ living life to th fullest (:
Bro's working at Starhub Roadshow, head to Town to find him.
Tgt with my family and relatives. My aunt's hospitalised ;'(
Was in Ngee Ann City and guess what we saw? LOLS!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SESAME STREET!
Didn't manage to get a good shot because it's super crowded!
Had a chat with weirdo last night.
Weirdo'd fallen in love with someone alr.
&& I wasn't really sad.
I do hope I'm not hiding my feelings.
But somehow I would rather weirdo be happy(:
I'm sad; not over this love thing.
But cause everything's back to square one..
I do hope things will be better (:
Your paper Kisses: 8:39 PM
Saturday, December 8, 2007
♥ vanishing points of my life; oh please learn to appreciate ARTS ;D
Was at Bugis, Esplanade & Suntec with my coursemates (:
Ivan that chap treated us to Starbucks! Thanks dude ;D
Aft th course, our perspection of objects are so different now. I mean,
all of us felt th difference when looking at exhibition @ Esplanade ytd.
And I see vanishing points everywhere now. Life's just an ART.
Wonderful time with Esther, Ying, Mildred, Ivan, YiKun.
Stay close, my lovely girls and guys ;D
Greet my new house phone, people!
Your paper Kisses: 1:57 PM
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
♥ no one bother to tell. ok, im a loser. i hate myself.
Today was lesson 3! Having great fun with th girls (:
Remember? I blogged this picture ytd?
I drew it out today using warm colours.
Freehand totally. No measurements at all ;D
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
i did my best alr. but it was satisfying.
So I wanted to just share with my blogders (:
Your paper Kisses: 6:25 PM
Monday, December 3, 2007
♥ its only fair for th world to be unfair
Yesterday was Day 1 of my Portfolio workshop @ LaSalle.
My D&T folio was disaster so I joined this pre-interview course.
Only 10 students in class but there were better focus of course.
Was trained to observe and draw contours with charcoal. Interesting.
Never done before so there was so much excitment among us.
One of my coursemate, QiaoZhen said I resemble someone frm NP.
What th hell. Do I seriously have common face? Hais, I don't want !!
But there will definitely be something different, I'm a weirdo. Lols.
Only one home assignment which is an 150 words essay question.
I chose an artist, Jason Ensor. Someone who draws emo portraits.
His drawings are unique, 2 of my other coursemates chose th same image.
Tmr is perpective drawing (: Gonna have great fun with my coursemates ;D
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today is Day 2 of my Portfoilio workshop @ LaSalle.
Took photos are my belongings when I'd reached early.
Did one point perspective drawing with th girls & had a great time (:
1st picture is what I drew ytd for pure & cross contour drawing.
Middle is a Martel bottle with Vodka and wines around it ;D
2nd is a photo of Level2 bridge. 3rd is my perspective drawing of it.
I did it the fastest. I stil rmb what my Sec1 Art Teacher, Ms Tan taught. Lol.
2nd &3rd photo different cos I drew frm what I see, not by th photo.
After class, went photoshoot of theme, "CityScape" @ Bugis.
Quite diffifult to get goodshot because people avoid camera. Lols.
Look at this two hyper-active coursemates of mine:
Hahaas. Our two girls in The Two Compass. Hahaas.
On bus home, met a pervert. He's a middle aged European man.
At bus stop, sat bside me and kept smiling and looking at me.
I was shocked he boarded th same bus as me. I went to th back of bus.
And sat beside a girl at th last corner. That pervert sat beside me.
Then th girl bside me wants to alight. Bus so empty, he made me squeeze.
Squeeze to let her get off th bus. That stupid pervert doesn't want to move.
Then I sat inside, to the corner. He didn't move it. I was so relieved.
Called Si Ming to tell her something. Then when I turned to look at him,
you guess what he's doing? He was with pants but he faced the dick at me,
And he put his hands behind me, on the railing. And gave me a sickening smile.
I had no choice. I woke th guy that is sleeping infront of me then asked him
if he can help me cos there's a pervert bside me. He act like my boyfriend. Lols.
He wanted to alight at interchange but he alighted with me & walked home.
I'm sorry that I woke u up but thank you so much for helping me, i-dont-know-ur-name. LOL.
******************************************************************************
Seen my title? Yup, it's only fair for the world to be unfair.
Afterall, I am just someone who hides a lot from reality.
Cause.. Reality is cruel? I understand why hatred exist.
For someone insignificant like me, I remain my stand.
I believe afterall, there's hate but no point hating anything.
Cause it's REALITY that causes this world to despise someone like me.
Someone trying to impact but turned out to be laughing stock.
Someone trying to do things like anyone else but rejected.
Someone trying to express but gets mistaken all the time.
Someone who never knows when th next stab will come.
Someone who expects little when world expects more.
Someone who doesn't look perfect && gets mocked.
Someone who gets mocked even by ur best friend.
Someone who never wanted things complicated.
Someone who gets hurt but kept numb about it.
Someone who hides in order not to hurt others.
Someone who helps but ended up being hated.
Someone who wanted to live like anyone else.
Someone who prayed for lesser cruel reality.
Someone who simply wanted a better life.
I believe im not th only one who felt like this.
I believe im not th only one who escapes reality.
Reality is cruel. It makes wrong things turn right and vice versa.
Reality bans you from having a thought, expressing yourself.
Please don't tell me it's not true if you'd never experience it before.
Please don''t try to understand me when I don't even understand myself.
Probably God didn't even know why he created me.
Probably my parents don't even know why i exist.
Probably I'm like an extra in every scene/story.
Probably I'm to waste Earth's resources.
Probably I just need to live, wait & die.
Probably I'm just a passerby.
Probably I'm born to suffer.
Probably I shouldn't exist.
Probably I still have to.
At least I can be given a one-word description.
Read this, I'm just
nothing.
Happened to me in family, just because I'm a girl.
I can't do this, can't do that, I only got my Barbie Dolls on bdays.
From th day I knew things, I knew my parents are realistic.
Verbally, they said they agreed that my brother is overpampered by Granny.
But behind our back, they spoil him even more. PSP, games, phone bills..
Can u imagine a 20yr old, eldest in big family but with no working experience?
From young, I was forced to do a lot of helping in house chores.
Just because I'm the eldest among girls && my bro just play all his life.
From Sec1 till now, I can only use internet for 1hour over supervision.
They can come up with a million excuses why he can use internet for longer time.
When he goes DOTA battlenet all time and PPLE ALWAYS FIRST BLOOD HIM! SHAMEFUL!
Such a loser. He can just unplug ur charger when it's in usage & doesn't bother t say.
Yeah, one whole night and u realised u actually charged NOTHING. Fuck you CBK.
Aft he got into NS, mum always praise how he can stil survive with 300 per month.
I don't believe ok! Stil got money to buy laptop, branded, go out every weekend.
I hate my Granny a lot cause I ever saw her put money inside my bro's wallet.
& my parents can't be bothered. I'm straight forward in words & they hate me for that.
My 2 sisters are much wiser. They always like to sweet talk my parents.
My parents dote on them of course. BUt I find it so digusting t get in good books.
It was never my style to sweet talk someone to get such attention at all.
This Granny boy never paid for his phone bills, never even paid for license.
I hope you'll get impotent someday& by then I'm sure they won't dote u anymore!
Fuck off you useless bum! I'm born unlucky but at least I'm not sissy like you!
My parents would never pay for my clothes unless it's under offer, even if it looks ugly.
Him? They give him money to buy clothes! What the HELL! Hope you die fast!
Yeah, I'm tired. Just trying to vent out. It's 4.48am now. B'cs of that sissy,
I had to blog all of these in notepad and wake up so early. I hate home so fking much.
I wanna run away frm home. Who wants to lend me a pillow..?
Remembered my wrist slanting times in Sec school days.
I never like using a penknife. Blood gushes out too fast.
&& it hurts psycologically just because u see blood.
I used my mini friend instead- Stapler bullet.
Th skin gets ripped off, hurts when contact with air.
One more slant down, you can see slightly ur veins.
One more slant down, you can see a little come out.
One more slant down, hmm, probably not deep enough.
Trills of slanting. Feel th pain first bfore u see thick blood.
Ok, this hurts. And take longer time to heal than penknife.
No worries, I won't waste my time slanting my wrist.
No point hurting myself more thru self abuse when i look ugly enough.
So if you feel that this world is unfair, think about me.
Cos' reality is never gonna be sorry about what it'd ever done to me.
And there will always be something more pleasant
that reality's gonna give you than it would rather give to me (:
To conclude, my biggest enemy is not myself; it is REALITY.
Hey there, I'm gonna give u th most suitable handsign to describe you!
__l__ Please fuck off and die. LOL.
Random pictures:
Your paper Kisses: 6:53 PM
ADRIAN; friend